I am not American! :)

Hello friends!

For all my Canadian readers...

I realize that the vast majority of those reading my blog are from the USA, so my sincere apologies, but this is a silly pet peeve of mine, and this video hit the nail on the head and made me LAUGH very hard! Hahahaha!!!! Toooo funny.

Here's another one. I know it's an ad for beer...but you wouldn't know it until the end, and it too, made me laugh.

Have fun!

Random happenings...

So, what's new and exciting here? Not much.

Spring is here, although it's still rather brisk out. It sure is lovely to see all the flowers though--and to smell them! Things are greening up, and everything is beautiful. :) I am enjoying music very much, and especially flute this weekend! Been having some fun midnight Skype chats with Jen, too, and when flute comes up and we chat chat chat about it... it makes me very excited.

So with that in mind, and after reading some...interesting...thoughts on the Yahoo Galway flute chat this morning, I decided to do a little video about all the random and slightly unusual things I do to my flute. None of them are my ideas, mind you. I have a fabulous teacher. :D So here's the video!

And by the way, do check out my other videos. I haven't posted all of them on this blog, but they are all at my YouTube page. Click here to see the page with all the videos, and please comment on any you like!



When we wait...

My Moon River...

Sometimes I get these big days, these big weekends, these big feelings, that leave me absolutely and utterly...happy. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I had honours concert last night, and choir concert today, as well as an after-party for the choir members, which was amazing. I realize I am living outside the box, and making friends with a lot of people. A year or two ago, I had next to zero social life. It was really hard, and I cried a lot. I really relied on the words from Greg Long's song, 'In The Waiting'. I wept over this song many, many times. I've highlighted the verse that always hit the closest to home.
The gift nobody longs for, still it comes
And somehow leaves us stronger
When it's gone away

I try and pray for Your will to be done
But I confess it's never fast enough for me

It seems the hardest part is waiting on You When what I really want Is just to see Your hand move
I want a peace beyond my understanding
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me
And let me know that it's okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting

Time to let it go and just believe
Trusting in what no one else but You can see

Freedom from the fears that close me in
When I can't get beyond where I have been, but then

The silence doesn't mean that I'm alone
As long as I can hear
That I am still Your own

It was very painful indeed. I was waiting for more acceptance, for more love. My parents loved me dearly, and I had to just cling to them. It was hard to wait for more.

In 2006, I met Mariah online, and we grew very close. It was absolutely incredible to have a friend that accepted me for who I am, and I want to thank you so much, Maya. You mean so much to me! I love you. In the summer of 2007, Mariah came to BC to visit me, and we spent an amazing 3 weeks together. What a blessing! When September rolled around, I joined the cafe on the Rebelution, and we started small groups to read Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology book together. I met Camille, Erica, Emma, Tiffany, and Lisa. These 5 girls have come to mean so very much to me that it hurts! Thank you for loving me, girls. I am hoping to meet a few of them in the not-too-distant future.

During the past year or so, I have grown very close to Jen, and that bond has strengthened me incredibly. Having mentors in your life is and amazing blessing. I have also become somewhat of a daughter to Susan, my piano teacher. She is amazing. Then I met Rosemary in January, and not only have I learned an incredible amount of singing knowledge, but I have felt an amazing connection. She understands me so well, it's relieving. Talk about kindred spirits.

Yesterday was honours concert, and Jen was there, supportive, and kind, and such a fabulous person to have behind you. I played, I got a rose, I was encouraged, and I felt really loved and cared for. Everyone around me was supporting me and looking out for me. Having Jen's passion and joy there just made me feel like flying. What an amazing feeling! Thank you for being there for me, Jen.

This afternoon, I had, as I mentioned, the after-party for our choir concert. It is mostly older people (65-70+ with a few that are a bit younger) and they take quite a liking to the only youngster in the group--me! I chat with them, we exchange life stories, they ask me about my music, we chat about choir, they give me lots of hugs and let me sing with them as we sang along to one guy who could play piano, even though I didn't know most of the 'oldies' they sang. A few times there was a moment where I wasn't in an active conversation, and I just stood there and looked out the window at the amazing view, staring out at the beauty of God's creation, soaking up the life. As they sang "Moon River' and came to the line that says "There's such a lot of world to see..." one lady motioned to me, and said "Especially for you!" At that moment, I just felt like this wave of peace had washed over me. Rosemary (she directs the choir too) came repeatedly to me and put her arm around me and included me in things, and other people would see me staring out the window at the gorgeous vista and pull me over to laugh and chat with them. They even sang happy birthday for me! So many good times. So many friends. So much love.

Of course, I can't write this post without acknowledging the incredible love my parents have poured out on me over the years. I have not the words to express my gratitude for their gentle guidance.

I'm not telling you all this to brag. I just feel like God has poured out His blessings on me incredibly richly this last year in regards to my social life and the people who I've come into contact with, and I wanted to share with you all, this living example that when you wait on God, He provides, and in the strangest of ways! I was expecting some girl--my age--to move in across the street or something, but no, God gives me 6 international friends and a bunch of adults who love me. He is a good God. He is a lot bigger than we give Him credit for.

It is a glorious feeling to be loved. A truly, stupendously glorious feeling.

May you be fulfilled many times over as you wait on God. As Greg Long's song says; pain truly does somehow leave you stronger when it's gone away, for as surely as my bout with loneliness was incredibly painful, the peace and joy that come now, are absolutely ever-strengthening, and I am growing in it. Thank you God, for being there for me as I waited, and for being there for me next time I have to wait.

Now I'll leave you with this sweet little melody to think about:

Moon River, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style some day. Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker, wherever you're going I'm going your way. Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. We're after the same rainbow's end-- waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend, Moon River and me.

Take care,
Sheila recently hacked my blog. I feel it's high time to do the same to her.

A few days ago I was out riding my horse, and it made me think of Sheila. I hope someday we can go riding together...

This afternoon I watched and listened to a fluit quartet. It made me think of Sheila. I hope someday we can jam on our instruments together...

This evening I got on the computer, and noticed Sheila's blurb on her skype account. It said "it is a glorious feeling to be loved." I hope Sheila realizes how many people she has made feel glorious by loving them.

But enough of the mush already?

How about two fun pictures!

This is Sheila when she was maybe fourteen...isn't she cute?

This is Sheila very recently. She might think she looks stupid in this picture, but I LOVE it!! She looks so happy and cowgirl-ish.

I love you, Sheila Christine!

Fun facts...

Hello everyone! I had a great birthday yesterday. More on that soon, probably. :)

1. Name someone who made you smile today?
Jen, by reading her card.
2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Um...checking my email
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Eat breakfast.
4. Name something that happened to you in 1992?
I was born!
5. When is your birthday?
April 16, 1992

7. What color is your hairbrush?
8. What was the last thing you bought?
I payed for the fee to take the test for my driver's learning license
9. where do you keep your money?
Mostly in the bank, and the rest in my wallet
10. What was the weather like today?
It is sunny and cool!
11. Where did your last hug take place?
The living room, before that, my parents bedroom, before that, a random little alleyway
12. What are you excited about?
MY honours concert and choir concert of the weekend!
13. Do you want to cut your hair?
No! I love my long hair! Though sometimes it's a pain...
14. Are you over the age of 25?
No, but I AM over the ago of 15!
15. Do you talk a lot?
Yes, for sure! Mostly when I am around other chatty people, but I have discovered I have a quiet side as well.

17. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?
X's are cheesy.
18. Do you know anyone named Kelsey?
I know someone who knows a Kelsey.
19. Do you make up your own words?
For sure!
20. Are you ticklish?
I don't know if I should tell you...
21. Are you typically a jealous person?
Not really, no.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "C":
23. Who's the last person to call you?
Mrs. B!
24. Do you chew on your straws?
Depends where I am!
25. Do you have curly hair?
No, but I have mostly wavy hair, and occasionally I find a curl!
26. What is the next concert you're going to?
Honours concert.
27.Where did you go today?
I haven't gone anywhere yet, but I am going riding later!
28. What is something you say a lot?
"For sure!"

30. Do you have to work tomorrow?
Depends on your definition of work.
31. Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?
Probably my Mum or Dad.
32. What should you be doing right now?
Practicing something.
33. Do you have a nickname?
I seriously wish I did!
34. Are you a heavy sleeper?
I think so, not really sure!
35. What are you listening to?
Some Bach on the radio, and my own clacking keyboard
36. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
Water Horse
37. Is there anyone you like right now?
No, not THAT kind of 'like', but I do LOVE all my friends!
38. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Well, we have a dishwasher, sot there aren't lots to wash
39. Did you cry today?
No, but I cried yesterday out of pure happiness.

There you have it! Completely random!

Still 15...

Well, I am in the last day of being 15. Tomorrow I will be turning 16, and I will never be 15 again!

It's bittersweet, you know. 14 was the last year of childhood for me, and 15 has been a sweet, gentle transition to...something. Being 15 years old has been so freeing. Still at home, without much responsibility, adult-wise, and the freedom to explore life. It is such a childlike year, but yet with a mind and heart that is growing up!

Turning 16 brings with it a lot of responsibility, and adult thought. The most obvious responsibility here in BC, is that I am going to be legally allowed to learn to drive. So tomorrow morning, I'll head over to the licensing office, take my little written test, have my eyes checked, and get that little red magnet with a big black L on it. It's exciting, but again, very bittersweet. This is the last day of my life, where I don't drive. In one way I kind of don't want that to end. In another way, it's exciting, and I know learning to drive will be fun, but there is a freedom that comes with having to walk everywhere too. Still trying to figure out my thoughts on that. I just know that in a year I will probably really need to be able to drive on my own, and you have to have that learner's license for an entire year. Only when I turn 17 can I get my N (novice) license and be allowed to drive alone (although still with restrictions).

I am about to bid farewell to an amazing year. I learned so much. I grew so much. I learned peace and simplicity. I learned about some complex parts of life. So now I will accept my new role as a 16 year old with honour and a bit of twirling around in my pretty pink skirt. :)

It will be a good year. I will follow where God leads me, and strive to understand what comes my way, to sort out good from bad, but still blend opposites, to live without boundaries, to unite things that seem impossible to unite. Hopefully I will continue to mature and change in some ways, so that the person I am on the inside can be purely visible from the outside. I have just barely figured out being 15, but I'm ready to accept the task of figuring out being 16, and I have 12 months to do it. I'd better get started right away.

By the way, I've had a lot of people ask me exactly what I'm doing for my birthday. Not tons. I don't have local friends my age, so I'm not going to do anything with them, and I don't relish the idea of just scouring the surrounding areas for random people that know me to participate in a 'party'. So tomorrow my day will look like this:

- Get up in good time
- Open a few fun presents with my parents
- Head down to the driver's licensing office with my 2 pieces of ID.
- Get my L
- Go to a rehearsal with my pianist for honours concert
- Go to flute lesson (WooHoo!!!!)
- Have flute trio
- Come home and enjoy being 16

Yep, looks awesome to me. I don't know about you, but I'm excited. It will be a lot of fun.

Hugs to you all!


Life is a lot bigger than I thought it was!

Hello friends,

Well, I went to a tiny island recently, and I had a fabulous time. You know, things are a lot bigger, and a lot different than I thought they were, in fact I am a lot different than I thought I was.

I can tell I don't belong over here. They can tell I don't belong over here. Every time I said "I know, and nobody does such-and-such" or "Everybody does so-and-so", in complete misery that is that way, she'd say "Ah-ah...no. Not over here. Over here, it isn't like that."

There is freedom: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of love--true love, freedom of minds. I landed at the island, and without a word to a single soul, I felt my chains were broken. It is a consciousness that invades your soul. It is like God can move freely over there, like over here, people put up walls around their souls, and keep everything supernatural out.

When I leave, tears fall. When the boat pulls away, I wave goodbye to a piece of myself, and until I return, I do not feel complete. I feel, once I land on this side, that chains have been laid across my body, holding me back, keeping every ounce of freedom away from me. And so I try to be who I am, with that one piece missing, the best I can. I will smile and laugh and hide behind all that I want to be, in hopes that people will notice that I am not of this land.

So I take off my shoes, and I walk through the grass to the street, where I let my feet have their freedom over the hard, paved road. I cannot reach what I need to reach. I cannot remove that bond, but every bit of me that shows past the fetters, I will give freedom. Now I am realizing that I must let my true, question-asking self, ask questions. I must let it seek answers. I must find those answers. I need to do this myself.

I really don't care, what everyone else does or thinks, but this is who God made in me. This is what He has ordained me to be. I am not putting up a facade anymore. I will let me be myself. God is taking me on a journey. He is working in my life. It is hard, it is confusing, and I have a lot more questions to ask, but I am going to continue on this road, and when the tears come, I will let them. I will let them be free. I will let myself explore.

Do discover if you are different from society. You may be a lot farther from mainstream than you thought. We're all unique, and I aim to find out what it is that makes me that way. I am going to ask questions until all of them are answered, and I don't want words. I don't want words for answers, I want real life.

Go in God,